But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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