mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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