And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize