he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
