Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
