My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
