Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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