I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
