the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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