Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
