I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
