So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
