I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
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