no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
