I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
