I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
