theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
