i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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