OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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