Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize