How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
