Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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