im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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