And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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