you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
