My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
