i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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