I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wish you could order shots online.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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