I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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