just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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