I want to stick my p in your. b.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize