I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
