I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm passing your future prison.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
