i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
