6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
