evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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