I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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