Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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