you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
