why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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