after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
