"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Randomize
