So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
