so that wasnt chicken after all
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
