$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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