You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
