He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
