quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
