someone get that fucking seahorse.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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