I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
we made out on top of his cat.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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