She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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