My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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