We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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