He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
