I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
