Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize