its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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