I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
