I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize