SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
