suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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