I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
