I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
love makes seman taste better
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
