Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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